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Hospitality
Janet Moyle shares how hospitality is a vital part of gathering people for a Church plant.
We are currently planting a Church in King’s Lynn, Norfolk. From January 2000 until August 2007 we were based in St Ives, Cambridgeshire. When we put our house on the market it took longer than anticipated to sell. During this frustrating period, another Church leader prophesied ‘the reason you have not sold is because the house you are looking to buy is too small.’ My initial response was similar to that of Sara in the Old Testament– disbelief, thinking it was ridiculous as finances would not allow for anything bigger. I was to be proven wrong and a few months later I met the leader who had spoken the words to me and apologized.
Our house is a blessing from God and as such we endeavor to use it not only as a home for Andy, myself and our 3 children but also as a place where people can come and feel welcomed and refreshed. Hospitality literally means the love of strangers which goes hand in hand with brotherly love (philadelphia). Romans 12:13 tells us to “practice hospitality.” Paul is exhorting us to use our homes to gather new people into the Church family. It is a key factor in our lives and as The Gateway Church grows, we try to divide our time between hospitality and philadelphia – the welcoming of new people and caring for the ones we already have.
When we moved, we were told a number of times that ‘people here don’t invite you to their homes. It’s a Norfolk thing!’ These are just the words you want to hear when you are moving into a new town and don’t know anyone! In the early days of living here, Andy and I made a conscious decision that we were going to break the mould and keep having people round. Shortly after this, we invited a leader and his wife from another Church for a meal. They told us that it was the first time in 7 years that anyone had asked them for a meal. In their ministry they had often had people in their home, but because they were never invited back they grew despondent and ‘gave up’ inviting people to theirs. On hearing this, it made me all the more determined to persevere with keeping our home ‘open.’
The majority of people respond in a positive way to food and so it is no surprise that it is our primary hospitality tool. The piece of furniture that we would not be without is our large table which sits in the conservatory. A plaque on our wall reads ‘Hospitality – sit long and talk much’ In truth, we have had some of our deepest, most spiritual, memorable and fruitful conversations with people sat around the table whilst enjoying food. At such times we are not entertaining, merely enjoying a meal together, which is so much less stressful! I have discovered that the value we place on eating together can be reflected in our sometimes rather large food bill! However, it is a choice we are able and choose to make.
The apostle Paul regards being hospitable as one of the key qualifications of eldership (Titus 1:8). The way we do Church planting hospitality has merely changed, rather than stopped, with our changing circumstances. In our previous Church plant we would have had people at our home many evenings. Now, we have 3 primary age children and I also work as a teacher part-time. People still come to our home, although generally it is either after the children’s bedtime or when I am not at school.
As I reflect on the last 3 Sundays, we have had about a dozen folks here for lunch each week. The talking and laughter is special and everyone helps out with whatever needs doing. Our children have caught the value of hospitality and on Sundays they will look around to see who they can invite! Sometimes I feel so tired after a full on morning, but in my experience I have found that afternoons as mentioned above revitalize me.
Over recent years, I have learnt with having an open home, that it is alright to say ‘no’ to people sometimes. We had a couple pop in one evening during the week and they said ‘we thought we would come by and we knew you would say no if it didn’t suit.’ It is good to be upfront with people right from the start!
I have also gained freedom in not feeling the pressure to be involved with everyone that comes to our home. Occasionally we have had people here and due to pressures of life or demands of work, I have not been able to be a part of what is happening. This doesn’t happen very often, but it does show that my home is a place where I can be myself.
1 Peter 4:9 says “offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.’’ This can be done successfully by not being afraid to ask for help when needed. My second pregnancy resulted in twins and during the days and months following their arrival I realized the value of asking others to help out! This lesson has spilled over in the way we approach hospitality. We can do the big numbers only because everyone mucks in with bringing and preparing food. Recently, one of our young, single girls was here for lunch and then she stayed to help put the kids to bed which was an added blessing to us!
Our children fondly remember the story of a lady arriving at our door one evening, shortly after we moved in. I answered the door, and, as she stood before me, she asked if this was the hotel. I replied to her that she was welcome to stay, but that it wasn’t a hotel! Hospitality as it should be, but needless to say, she chose to move on!
We love having people in our home. Our prayer is that those that come will feel accepted and loved and will leave having been glad they came!
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